Christmas dinner
Dilemma: You don’t know how to stuff a turkey, or you just don’t want to. You’re not interested in making yorkies from scratch or hunting down the right wines to match each course. And yet, at an earlier, more innocent age (probably around October), you stupidly made the grand gesture of declaring that YOU would host Christmas day this year. And now you will have people at your place next week, expecting to be fed something spectacular.

Surely not since The Last Supper has any one meal ever caused this much anguish and gnashing of teeth. Good grief, why don’t we all just give it up and order in. Jamie Oliver’s doing it, so there’s no need to feel guilty.

If you’re in London, take a leaf out of Jamie’s book and order Christmas in a Box from the celebrities’ favourite deli, Melrose & Morgan, in Primrose Hill for £39.95 per head and be kitted out with turkey or goose, wine, cheese, pudding, organic sausage meat and all the trimmings.

If you’re not in London, take a look at The Christmas Dinner Company. They’ll deliver a brilliant pack with everything you need (including a roasting pan) by 23 December.

Decorating
Dilemma: It’s two days until Christmas and you still haven’t decked the halls. Don’t feel bad. You’re probably very busy and important, and understandably, tinsel and fairy lights don’t feature all that high on your life agenda.

Of course, when you finally get the chance to drop into M&S, all the good stuff is gone and you’re left with 80cm of garish multicoloured lights, a box of plastic baubles (half of which are already broken) and some semi-squashed chocolate ornaments.

Never mind. You have two options.

Option One: Embrace whatever tacky delights are left over at your local pound shop and give your Christmas an ironic theme of eye-watering garishness. You’ll need loads of poor quality tinsel in as many different colours as you can find, plus the aforementioned broken baubles and multicoloured lights, and on top of those just throw on anything you’ve ever worn to a hen’s night (feather boas, plastic tiaras, etc). You’ll also need the ability to carry this off with a laugh and a carefree hair-toss as you hand each guest a glass of cava in a plastic cup and trill, “Yes, I thought we’d go a bit ‘Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter’ this year…”

Option Two: Embrace your inner domestic god/goddess and declare this year to be a homemade affair. You’ll need a recipe for stained glass window biscuits (to hang as tree ornaments), some string, a needle, cranberries and popcorn (for a homemade tree garland), and some potted poinsettias from your local florist to dot around the place. Prepare to feel Nigella-like levels of smugness.

Shopping
Dilemma: It’s 22 December. You’ve left your Christmas shopping until the very last minute. Again. And after an office Christmas party, a disastrous ice-skating adventure, and a three-hour performance of The Nutcracker (during which you fell asleep) all in one week, the last thing you can face right now is a soul-crushing trip to the high street.

No problem. Make a list of the people you need to buy for, assign them to one of the following gift categories according to age, gender and how much you like them, and buy online at one of the listed websites (all of which offer same-day or next-day delivery, so you can have everything delivered to your door by 23 December).

• Flowers from Interflora
• Cupcakes from The Cupcake Factory
• Chocolate from Chouchoute
• Theatre tickets from Lastminute.com (print them straight from your inbox!)
• Bungee jumping, skydiving, makeovers, spa breaks, flying lessons, steam train journeys, afternoon teas and wine tasting days from BuyaGift

Christmas cards
Dilemma: All the lovely Christmas cards from your friends and family are piling up. And so are the lovely Christmas cards to your friends and family. Over there. In a corner. Still unwritten.

Avoid writer’s cramp and a trip to the post office by sending everyone free holiday e-cards. It’s the (eleventh-hour) thought that counts.

Christmas

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 17th, 2008 at 5:22 pm and is filed under Entertaining at home, Lifestyle. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.