Village for sale. Slightly used. £25million.
March 11th, 2009 by admin
Does anyone reading this know a lottery winner, Russian oligarch, wealthy ageing rockstar or similar? If so you should let them know that according to the Daily Mail, a handsome little village called Linkenholt is up for grabs for the meagre sum of £25m, which is roughly what they would have spent on a two-bed semi in Sloane Square anyway.
Seriously. Your OWN VILLAGE.
It’s a nice thought, no?
If I was to snap this baby up, I would have a few key questions for the estate agent.
1. Will I be allowed to rename it? Linkenholt is very nice, but I was thinking something with a bit more chutzpah, something a bit more modern and relevant and spectacular. Something that shows we’re down with the kids. Hogwartstonville, perhaps, or Russell-Crow-on-the-Wold. Or New HighschoolmusiCaledonia.
2. Can I kick people out if I don’t like them? For £25m, I don’t want some concrete-faced neighbour telling me to turn my music down. I am a fair person, however, and am willing to implement a three-strikes-and-you’re-out policy.
3. Can I make some new local laws? Nothing unreasonable, obviously. Just off the top of my head, perhaps it will be illegal in New HighschoolmusiCaledonia to work on snow days, or to walk slowly on the footpath when someone is walking behind you, or to leave the plastic covering on your furniture after you’ve bought it, or to leave your car engine running while you’re parked.
4. Can I have a Bank holiday in my name? Just in the village, of course, not all of the UK. Although everyone will be welcome to celebrate Jessica Townsend Day if they feel inclined. We will have a parade of floats through the centre of town, and everyone will dress up like me and we will dance to Kylie Minogue all night. Tra la la.
Thanks to Mike from Winging It for pointing us in the direction of this Bargain of the Century!
Over to you, then. What would you name your village? Any laws you’d introduce?
March 11th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Now, i do have very close connections with someone able to buy this villiage – i spent one night at Angus from AC/DC’s house about 18 years ago as he lived next to my Gran… I’ve spoken with Angus and he suggested that he would (legally) force everyone to wear school uniforms with ripped jeans…
He was on tour at the time so didnt meet him either. He didnt suggest that either.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
mustaches and mullets would be definitely forbidden
March 11th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I’d call it Bobesville!! And the law would enforce all people to have Bob in their names. eg Jim-Bob
March 11th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Looks like Bob the Builder will fit right in.
March 17th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Sounds PurrrrrFect for me, call the Village KatZpurr.
All cats must be fed fish on Friday.
Dogs must be on a leash, except in designated dog parks.
Anyone with a cat on their lap is excused from jury duty, or answering the phone or the door.
All crooks will be put into a room of wild cats, and IF he survives for 30 minutes he will be escorted out of town.
All officials must wear a Faux wild cat fur cape.
The town will close down from 1 pm to 3 pm for a KATnap.
All in favour say, MEOW!!!
LOL how PurrrrrFect, LOL
March 19th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
[...] from Primelocationblog would like to rename the village. Whereas this might not be possible for the real place, you can of course rename your WYP parcels [...]